


YET MORE CONSTANT MEDDLING

by Broba



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-21
Updated: 2012-02-21
Packaged: 2017-10-31 13:29:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/344540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Broba/pseuds/Broba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Well see here's the thing. After the last sickfic I did, Constant Meddling, it was suggested to me that perhaps I had not quite fulfilled what the prompter wanted because they would have liked something a little more contemporary.... and what else could I do? START OVER!</p>
<p>I loved writing this, only because of the additional character who comes into it out of a totally seperate fandom. I was so gleeful about fitting them in there randomly that I am not even putting it in the tags just because I like that it's a surprise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Rose struggled through the wintry streets, her boots skidding and slurping through the snowy mush, her fingers numb and her nails blued, her lips chapped and her cheeks dashed by wind. She should have worn much thicker clothing and a proper coat but she had only grabbed what came first to hand and flatly refused her mother's offer of mittens. The woman never changed.  
  
All she knew what that her friend was ill- perhaps seriously. Kanaya had messaged her earlier and Rose had picked up very quickly that something was amiss. Kanaya had not wanted to discuss it of course, because she never liked to think of herself. When she had actually started to make spelling mistakes Rose had become concerned, and when left abruptly stating that her head was "Feeling Much Like Your Descriptions Involving The Drunken Behaviour Of, And I Quote, Your Drunken Heap Of A Mother." Rose hadn't even been aware up until now that Trolls could become unwell. Of course she knew in an abstract sense that they were not immune to the dangers of the world, but still it was something of a mental adjustment for her. She arrived shortly at Kanaya's neat little apartment building, and went straight to her door.  
  
As she knocked and waited, Rose reflected that this would be the first time they had met face to face in a long time. When she thought about it, she realised it had in fact been back in the game, back in those times, when she had last spend any real time in Kanaya's physical presence. Of course they kept up since then, all the Trolls had, they needed the help of the only humans they knew intimately on a daily basis. Still, she reflected, keeping up in regular texts might be comfortable and convenient but perhaps on reflection it was lacking. There was no answer. Rose realised she had been lost in a reverie for several minutes, and there was not so much as a sound from within. Rose hammered on the door to no avail. She knew better then to try her luck with the building superintendent; it was enough of an imposition that Rose herself had come, if she burst in with the building super in tow then Kanaya would certainly be perturbed, as she would put it. Trolls could not help but be territorial and defensive, surrounded by an alien world as they were.  
  
Rose shook her head and told herself, aloud, that she was being foolish. Kanaya must have stepped out. Perhaps on some errand, and at any moment she would return and express mild surprise to see her friend.  
  
None of the impeccable logic she could conjure helped though. Something was amiss, and she could sense it as clear as the chill white daylight lancing through the corridor window. Rose cursed herself for a paranoid fool but she had to act. On the several occasions that she had run away from home while growing up, only to decide on reflection that she would rather stay around just a little longer, she had learned a few things about getting into a locked home. She flipped out a credit card and got to work. An old trick, but surprisingly it worked a lot of the time.  
  
Kanaya was laid out on her couch, and half off it, deep in sleep. Rose hoped it was sleep as she ran over, not even removing her snowridden boots. Kanaya was burning up, Rose passed a hand over her forehead and frowned- there was a sheen of what she assumed was sweat plastering down Kanaya's hair, even her horns looked more lustreless then she remembered. She did her best to make Kanaya comfortable, eliciting a weak moan from the Troll. She instinctively curled into a foetal position and Rose absent-mindedly stroked a hand along her back.  
  
Rose prepared tea, which was one of the few Earth beverages Kanaya approved of unreservedly, and a glass of ice-water. She put a pan on the stove and hunted around the apartment for something nutritious and simple to prepare. The Troll evidently had little idea, Rose was appalled to find three huge bags of dried pasta, fully fourteen bags of sugar and a pot of salt filling one cupboard. She shook her head and put some pasta on to boil, fortunately there was some powdered soup and with a little imagination she could whip together a thin broth.  
  
Rose tried to restrict herself to only doing what was necessary, she did not want to pry or seem voyeuristic, but she could not help but at least glance around. The place was neat and well appointed, but little touches here and there suggested a person who had carefully studied pictures of what a well-ordered human room looks like in a magazine, and just copied that. There was a bowl of fruit on the kitchen table, artfully arranged and clearly never touched. Never-lit candles in tasteful glass holders either side of the bowl. Several photo frames dotted around surfaces, each one containing a bland picture of a complete stranger smiling or skiing or enjoying a fine yacht. Rose realised that she had simply bought picture frames and left the standard stock photos that came with them in place. She shook her head and tried to concentrate but it was hard, because she spotted the fresh madness going on around Kanaya's computer.  
  
The computer desk was set against a blank white wall which was coated- plastered- in photographs, papers, receipts, tax returns- all pinned straight to the wall and some annotated in varicoloured marker pen. As Rose approached she saw that all of the Trolls were represented- she had a copy of Gamzee's first payslip from his pizza delivery Job, Tavros' employment contract with Mr Kasparian, even what appeared to be a telephoto-lens picture of Karkat, walking next to John and looking unhappy as ever about it. She had been following their new Earth lives in detail, and apparently getting involved. She had helped the Trolls get social security numbers, corresponded with the department of naturalisation and immigration, she had even kept itemized receipts of Tavros' many taxi rides which, apparently, she had been helping him pay for. Rose gazed wide-eyed at it all- Kanaya had been doing all of the difficult, niggling little tasks that modern life demands, for all of her Troll friends, and she had never once mentioned this intense workload. Rose was starting to wonder just how well she knew her friend when there was a rustle of cloth behind her. She span, but not guiltily- she knew exactly how to react when she was caught doing something she didn't want to be seen doing. Kanaya was sat up on the cough, and watching her intently with a blank expression.  
  
"Kanaya! You're awake!"  
"Yes, I am," her voice sounded weak, it was little more then a throaty whisper.  
"How do you feel?"  
"I am not sure that I can really describe it. The feeling is quite unusual to me."  
"You're burning up," said Rose, and when Kanaya looked down at her arms and hands in confusion she added, "you are running a fever, it looks like you're sick."  
"Is this normal, I mean to ask whether this is normal on Earth, to become burning up."  
"Well sometimes, we have illnesses. Don't you have diseases? Sickness?"  
"The weak and sickly are generally culled."  
"Don't you have doctors? People who look after the sick?"  
  
Kanaya tilted her head on one side, and adopted an expression that Rose knew meant she was trying to verbalise yet another concept that was self evident to Trolls, and so defied easy explanation. Rose was put in mind of someone trying to explain love to a robot.  
  
"When we become unwell, it is traditional for those who feel that they will recover to demand a testing. Their overall hardiness is questioned, in a violent physical sense, by an imperial drone and those who survive are permitted time to rest and recuperate." It took a lot out of her to talk, Rose saw. She was wavering, and flopped back against the couch. Rose darted over to her and lifted her hand, patting her wrist urgently and calling her name until Kanaya opened her eyes again.  
"I have prepared some food, you have to eat."  
"I don't know," said Kanaya slowly. Her eyes rolled upward for a moment before refocussing, with effort, "perhaps a little grubloaf."  
"Nothing like that, you will have to make do with broth."  
"Will it heal me, Rose?"  
"Unlikely. But, it might help."  
"I appreciate your candour. I imagine you must be tempted to advise me that everything will be alright, and things will look better in the morning, and also that it is never as bad as it seems."  
"I promise I won't say any of those things."  
  
Kanaya opened her mouth, but she just nodded. Rose sat down next to her and felt her forehead again, already she was feeling helpless. She did not have a nurturing bone in her body. At least, not that she would admit to.  
  
"I don't know what to do Kanaya," she finally announced, after a hesitant start, "I am not really good at this."  
"Am I correct in thinking, your friends consider you a useful source of help and advise in what are called troubling times?"  
"That's different, when it's giving advice. When I'm looking at a box full of text I feel like I'm in control more,"  
"You mean, you prefer to operate at a distance."  
"I suppose so, I never really thought about it like that. John is a lot better at this sort of thing then me, he always knows how to do the right thing I suppose."  
"And what," she stopped and breathed, very slowly and deliberately, "do you think John Egbert human would do in this situation."  
  
Rose didn't even have to think hard. She held her arms apart and swivelled awkwardly to face Kanaya, sitting crosslegged up on the couch. For her part, Kanaya looked at her blankly. Rose leant forwards slightly and held Kanaya by the shoulders, pulling gently. Kanaya let herself half-fall into Rose's hug. As Rose wrapped her arms around Kanaya and squeezed gently, she felt the Troll move, snuggling a little. She was sure it was actual snuggling. Perhaps, she grudgingly admitted, John was onto something with his relentless physicality as she saw it.  
  
  
By the evening it had become clear to Rose that she could not care for Kanaya alone. She had fed her and given her water, and helped her once to the bathroom, turning discreetly away and closing her eyes for good measure. Kanaya was getting worse. She lay limply against Rose's lap, and her breathing was starting to come in soft, rapid pants. Rose was getting more and more frantic internally, until she finally reached a decision and stood up.  
  
"Kanaya, I'm calling an ambulance."  
"Whm?" Kanaya opened an eye.  
"People will come here, people who can help you."  
"Mn."  
"I'm sorry but I have to, things are different here- we don't let someone just expire because they need a little help."  
  
Rose's fingers were shaking as she dialled her mobile and called in a 911 emergency. When she explained that the patient was a Troll the dispatch operator didn't understand at first, it took some explaining. Since the initial burst of publicity the Trolls had faded into obscurity when it became clear that not only would no more be coming, but the ones that had arrived on Earth were not going to say much that was remotely printable. Eventually Rose managed to persuade the operator that something serious was happening, and an ambulance was en route in moments.  
  
Kanaya vaguely remembered a sense of floating serenely, and bright lights. Rose later told her that she had been lifted up and placed on a stretcher to take her from the apartment, they had ridden in a hospital to City General, all the way Kanaya had drifted in and out of a sense of delirium. She had muttered about things Rose didn't understand, drifting into the clicks and guttural growls of Alternian and, once, snapping at Rose's hand with her fangs like an angered animal. She was too weak to resist or question as they took her in and made her comfortable in a bed.  
  
Unfortunately at that point, human medical science reached its limit. Her physiology was entirely new, the doctors fitted her with a heart monitor on her fingertip and electrodes on her chest and couldn't interpret what they saw, she had no Q-T rhythm that they could discern, and if she had a heart beating it seemed to work in a totally different way to a human one. The best they could tell Rose was that if a human were exhibiting the symptoms they were seeing, that human would be long dead. They had no basal measurements to measure against, nor any way to tell what they were even measuring. The doctors were kind, and they were certainly eager to help, but they simply had no way to. As a special dispensation Rose was allowed to stay in the room with Kanaya, when the girl left the Troll seemed to become agitated and would not calm, and they didn't dare risk a sedative.  
  
"For all we know," said a doctor with a kindly but perplexed expression, "this is all normal for her. Maybe it's just a cold and she'll be better in the morning, we just can't say."  
"There must be something you can do," said Rose coldly, staring.  
"Look," the doctor ushered her to one side away from a group of orderlies who bustled in to check the equipment and bring some food, "I've been in emergency medicine for fifteen years, and I have no idea what I'm even looking at. But,"  
"Yes?" Rose sensed hesitation.  
"There's a doctor who specialises in difficult to diagnose cases, they say he's a genius at it. I could put a call in, I don't know if he could even do anything but he might be willing to consult."  
"Why are you even asking? Do it!"  
"I should warn you, he can be a little... erratic."  
"I don't care, if there's a chance then we should take it. Please doctor, just make the call."  
"Of course. There's another thing, obviously she doesn't have any family, which means you're the nearest thing we have to a next of kin. I wonder if you'd be willing to fill out some forms, we need a contact in case a medically significant decision has to be made."  
"Are you even allowed to ask me that?" Rose grew wide-eyed, she understood entirely. The doctor was asking if she could be the one they turned to when they asked if they should stop trying.  
"There's no one else, I'm sorry. If you prefer, you don't have to. We can take it from here and handle everything."  
"No! No. I'm her, her friend, let me sign the forms."  
"Alright."  
  
Rose stayed by Kanaya all night. She phoned her mother to explain and was both surprised and exasperated that her mother both understood and agreed with her decision entirely. She was certain that this was the opening gambit in yet another game, but she had no pieces to play and just hung up the phone. She spoke to the doctors regularly, and spent the rest of her time by Kanaya's side, alternately mopping her brow and stroking her hand, she simply couldn't think of anything else.  
  
Rose was woken in the middle of the night- the shadows were long and blue across the sheets under her cheek but she didn't remember ever falling asleep. Kanaya had shifted and sat up. Rose pulled herself upright, she could see even in the twilight that Kanaya was far too pale, and her forehead was cool and clammy to the touch.  
  
"Rose," said Kanaya simply, "where am I?"  
"You're in hospital, this is where we take people who are very sick."  
"I know this, I have been watching your amusing entertainments on the television. Will I be attended by amusing men who are clearly in love yet do not speak of this?"  
"What?"  
"And one of them is very amusing and has a fine singing voice and no hair, and the other one is also very amusing, and he has regular and compelling fantasies also he has tall hair?"  
Rose couldn't help but start to giggle, "No, no real hospitals aren't like that, it's a lot more serious in real life."  
"That is a shame. I was hoping that I could help the tall hair man overcome his irrational fear of janitorial staff."  
"I think you're a little delirious, Kanaya,"  
"Perhaps I am. I know that I certainly do not feel myself at the moment. In fact, I am not sure if I remember how myself feels. Is that strange?"  
"No Kanaya," Rose squeezed her hand tightly, "it's not strange at all."  
"What is going to happen to me, Rose?"  
"We're going to help you get better. An expert is coming by plane tonight."  
"A human expert?"  
"Yes,"  
"I would point out then, that they would hardly be an expert in Troll physiology."  
"Kanaya, try to think, do you have any idea what is wrong with you?"  
"I don't think I do, but I am not really thinking in the way that I normally do Rose. I am sorry."  
"Don't be, please, just try to rest."  
"Who is coming, Rose?"  
"I don't know, I just heard the doctors say he is very good. A genius, they say."  
"Do you trust them?"  
"I- I think so- I'm sorry, I don't know, I can't answer you, I'm sorry,"  
"Please, do not. I would prefer you admit ignorance then feign understanding. We know where we are, therefore."  
  
Rose clutched Kanaya's hand, she drew it up to her lips and kissed it. Kanaya just stared, she was too weak to do anything else except nod gently. She closed her eyes and settled, and Rose laid her head down, her cheek over Kanaya's knuckles. It was not comfortable, but comfortable enough for the sake of her friend.  
  
"He's coming soon," she murmured as she closed her eyes, rubbing her cheek gently against Kanaya's fingers, "they said he's agreed to get a plan from Princeton Plainsboro tonight."


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, the light in the window was so intense and so white that Rose was put in mind of nothing so much as a vast sheet of paper wrapping the hospital building, admitting no sight or sign of anything beyond it. She sat up slowly, and realised she had been awkwardly curled over Kanaya's arm all night.  
  
"Kan- Kanaya?" She called softly, her friend didn't stir. "Kanaya!" There was a hint of a frown, and Rose almost collapsed in relief. The shift nurse came in to check on her statistics, as much as the numbers meant anything to them. She looked intensely upset about something and Rose asked her if everything was alright.  
"Your doctor is here," she replied curtly, before pausing and giving Rose a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, "good luck, honey."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Oh. You'll see." she flounced out of the room irritably.  
  
Rose didn't know quite what to make of that.  
  
In the lobby of the hospital, where patients waited to be processed, there was something of a bustle and a rising hint of chaos. It all stemmed from the thin, rangy man with two days of stubble and messily cropped steel-grey hair who sat rigidly upright in a waiting chair, his hands both resting on the handle of a walking stick stood upright between his feet.  
  
One member of the public who had arrived just as soon as the hospital had opened it's doors had been demanding loudly to see a doctor. He refused to go into his symptoms and so could not be effectively triaged, and so the nurses had silently judged him to be a time waster, but the blow hard wouldn't leave and would not shut up. Not, that it, until the man with the cane had taken a look at him and simply said, "Gonorrhoea."  
  
That had lit the touch paper, and the man exploded. A couple of burly security guards actually had to restrain him, the man spluttered and blustered a stream of epithets, and the noise was sufficient to wake a ward full of emergency patients and draw three doctors away from their work. One of the senior surgical consults on duty for the morning, who looked like he had already gone without too much sleep, told security to take the man into a room and see that he stayed there till either he calmed down or escalated to the point that they required the police. The man with the cane got up to move discreetly away but the surgeon caught his arm.  
  
"Hey just what the hell did you say to that man?"  
"I pointed out his diagnosis. Gonorrhoea. Don't thank me, I do this for free on days beginning with a Tee."  
"And what in God's name made you say something like that?"  
"I said it because I saw it. You might have noticed he was wearing sneakers with the heel crushed down on the right side."  
"And what does that have to do with anything?"  
"Sneakers he pulled on in a hurry, he never bothered with the laces. Not that he could have managed with those shakes. From his complexion and the smell I'd say this was just a regular evening soaked in booze for him but the jaundice is starting to come in."  
"And you got from that to a diagnosis? Just who the hell do you think you are, hey!"  
But the man was already limping away and called over his shoulder. "House, Doctor House, I'll find my own way. I figure you've got enough on your hands."  
  
The surgeon threw his hands up in confusion, and chased after him, "Alright I got to know, what made you say gonorrhoea?"  
"Sneakers with a three piece suit. One which had been wrinkled and slept in. After a night on the tiles he crawled into bed, probably blacked out. On waking up something got him so scared he pushed his feet into the first shoes he could find and got to the nearest hospital, where he repeatedly refused to discuss his symptoms in public. And of course, the limp. I know an STD limp when I see it."  
"That-" he paused, that was actually incredible- "it could still be a hundred different things, though! We could be looking at a perfectly ordinary guy who- who got woken up by a bad dream!"  
"Oh sure," agreed House, stepping into the elevator and tapping a button with his cane, "but I just didn't like him. Come-to-bed eyes on sweaty drunks don't work for me."  
  
The doors shut with a ping. House loved pushing buttons.  
  
Kanaya was sat up and more alert then she had been when House stepped into the room, but her temperature had increased sharply again. Rose looked up sharply while House wordlessly went to the charts and gave them a cursory examination.  
  
"So," he asked, looking at Kanaya directly, "you would be a Troll."  
"Yes, I would," she whispered, "so they tell me."  
"And that would make you the enchanted donkey?" He nodded at Rose, who coloured.  
"This is Kanaya, and I'm Rose, and I certainly don't think it is appropriate for staff members to simply wander into rooms unannounced like that."  
"Oh, but I'm not a staff member here," he replied, "Doctor House. I'm in from Princeton Plainsboro, I run a special diagnostics team."  
"Does that mean you can help her?"  
"Of course not, I'm just here to see the cool alien. What's your story?"  
"I'm her friend."  
House looked at Rose, down at the bed, up at Rose again, then across at Kanaya. "Friend. Right."  
Rose was becoming increasingly perturbed by the man, who she was starting to suspect had wandered in off the street. "If you're a doctor," she emphasised the "if," noticeably, "then what do you plan on doing?"  
"What I am doing. Observing."  
  
He took a seat next to Kanaya with a little difficulty and hooked the handle of his cane over the head of the bed, leaning over to gently touch her forehead, then her wrist.  
"Aren't you going to use a stethoscope?" Said Rose archly, "or a sphignomometer?"  
"I'm not here to explain myself to you," replied House curtly, "but if I have any questions, you can just go ahead and leave your phone number, I'll be in touch."  
"You don't take me seriously at all," said Rose quietly, "but I'm her friend, so I'm staying."  
"Kanaya," said House, and she rolled her eyes up to regard him silently. She was starting to pant again, "do you feel hot?"  
"That's a ridiculous question!" Hissed Rose, "she's obviously burning up!"  
"I didn't ask how hot she was, I asked whether she is aware of feeling warmer then usual. Why isn't she trying to pull these bedsheets off?"  
"I'm fine," whispered Kanaya, "not hot, fine."  
"And do you feel like having a glass of water?"  
"No, thank you, House human."  
Rose walked over now, and grabbed House by the arm, "What are you even doing? How is this medicine?"  
  
House turned to her coldly, he had a stare which seemed disconcertingly judgemental, as if he could weigh up everything about a person in a moment.  
  
"When you get a fever, you don't actually feel hot because your body is trying to tell you not to fight it. The fever is there to burn out the infection. That's why feverish patients tend to grab extra sheets. At least now we can reasonably say that the fever is her natural response to illness, not caused by an outside agent."  
"So what's the next step then?"  
"We don't work to reduce it. We have to establish what are genuine symptoms, and what part of what we're seeing is her immune response to the symptoms."  
  
Rose had to admit that her opinion of House grudgingly shifted over the day. He was irascible, sarcastic and he would gladly expound at length on his theories while at the same time gleefully shooting down any of her suggestions that he could. The doctors who originally admitted Kanaya had established a rule from the start that she would be given no drugs, as her reaction to them could not be gauged. Even taking a blood sample was problematic, as her unique physiology made mapping a vein problematic. Unable to administer a contrast dye under these rules, House had to rule out MRI or CT scans. He therefore had resorted to raiding the OB\GYN department for a portable ultrasound, and was doing his best to map out her internal topology. Rose was learning more about her friend then she had ever intended, and even Kanaya seemed fascinated by the process weak as she was.  
  
House quickly identified her analogue of a heart, which he announced with some relish was four-chambered though with three additional constricting vascular structures leading into the aorta in place of coronary arteries.  
  
"It's like an additional pumping system, priming aorta with extra pressure before blood enters the heart,"  
"Is that good?" Rose asked, wide eyed and fascinated.  
"Good for her, I imagine her heart can survive a terrific amount of pressure. Looking at this I wouldn't be surprised if her resting b\p were two or three times that of a human." He looked up thoughtfully, he had his hand on Kanaya's bare back, holding the ultrasound probe between her shoulder blades. They had been forced to practically cover her in jelly so that House could probe her chest cavity from all angles. She cringed slightly around the bedsheets she had gathered up to her chest for modesty. "That also explains the rapid breathing rate," continued House, "it fits with the high pressure of her blood into the lungs."  
  
He moved the probe down slowly, examining the screen with care. "And that," he announced after a few moments, "would be a kidney."  
"It just looks like a vague blob," announced Rose.  
"Maybe so but you know the old saying- to a nephrologist, every bean-shaped vascular filtration organ looks like a kidney."  
"I don't feel very good at all," announced Kanaya quietly. Since the examination began she had been almost silent, "I don't feel very good." She kept repeating it. Rose carefully wiped the ultrasound gel from her while House put away the machine and made notes, muttering to himself. She instinctively threw her arms around Kanaya and cuddled against her back, ignoring the almost painful heat of her skin.  
"I'm sorry Kanaya, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, we're doing everything we can."  
"What does House human think?"  
"I don't know," she leaned up to whisper, "he's a little bit strange,"  
"That sounds, to me, like a studied description of every human I have met." She coughed softly, and Rose realised it was supposed to be a chuckle.  
  
House asked questions constantly, and for the most part they were nonsensical. He would needle Rose on intricate details about her interactions with Trolls, he was especially interested in the hemospectrum, although the very vivid and noticeable differences between the blood of different Trolls made any ideas he might have had about transfusions moot. Eventually Kanaya had to lay back and sleep, her energy was simply gone. House limped away angrily, upset that his one first-hand source of inspiration had slipped out of his grasp and he couldn't even give her a caffeine shot because he had no proof that she would react to it.  
  
House got himself a strong coffee in the busy hospital cafeteria and sat down at a table where a pair of nurses were already sitting and conversing quietly. After a while he was alone, the way just just sat there staring into space thoughtfully encouraged people to give him a wide berth, but nothing was coming. He simply didn't know enough to even know if he was on the right track.  
  
Outside the hospital the winter's day was as warm as it was ever likely to get, with a biting Easterly wind that frosted the car windows in the lot. House lurked around the entrance, making a phone call.  
  
"House? Is that you? What- what time is it?"  
"Wilson, I need a consult."  
"Oh my God House, it's three in the morning over here, and already I'm wondering why I'm even surprised to be talking to you right now."  
"Patient is running a fever with intermittent loss of consciousness, at night her body temp bottoms out completely. It looks like an infection but I can't be sure of anything."  
"I can't believe I'm even entertaining this House. Do you realise that I have work of my own? In some circles I'm considered a doctor too you know, sometimes I even get to treat sick people. I need my sleep, House."  
"Patient showing no signs of fever dehydration, even though I've been watching her over eight hours and I haven't see her take a sip of water,"  
"Are you even listening to me? I can't help you on this one House. I heard you were treating one of those Trolls."  
"That's right, now if you'd listen I have some more information to go into."  
"That's just the point House, we don't know enough about them to make any sense of it. I think this is one time where you can't just rely on deductive reasoning to work your way through the data."  
"You're saying I should follow my gut? Wonderful, I'll send the next of kin an apology letter straight from my duodenum."  
"House, you're getting upset and I'm getting increasingly aware that I have absolutely no reason at all to keep on talking to you when I can just pull the phone out of the wall."  
"One-twelfth of an entire sentient species is circling the drain, I thought you were supposed to be the humanitarian one,"  
"No, I'm the one who recognises my own limits and lets myself rely on other people instead of assuming they are all incompetent. Just because I am capable of a little basic common courtesy, stood next to you I look like a saint."  
"Well," House adjusted his position, leaning his other elbow on a railing and transferring the phone from one ear to the other, "doesn't this count as me reaching out humbly to my fellow man? Can't you help a brother out?"  
"This isn't you asking for help House, this is you needing someone to bounce your madness off of until you can figure out everything for yourself."  
"You make it sound so cold, sleeping alone again?"  
"I'm hanging up the phone, House. You'll have to figure out what's gotten into your patient on your own this time."  
"Wait," House paused, thinking. "Say that again,"  
"You've got something, haven't you."  
"I have to go Wilson, it's been nice. We'll do this again soon, it's just like a sleepover."  
"I'm just ecstatic to have been able to help. You're not going to tell me what you just thought of, are you."  
"No." House clicked off his phone and grabbed his stick, working his way back into the hospital at speed.  
  
Rose looked up as House entered, Kanaya was flat on her back and panting heavily, her eyelid fluttered with each breath now.  
"Doctor! I think she's getting worse!"  
"Where does she live? We're going there now. Come on!"  
"What do you mean? What's happening?"  
  
House thumbed the wall intercom and when a nurse arrived he gave instructions.  
"Prepare a course of chelating compounds, and administer intravenously,"  
"Doctor, you know the rules, I can't just-"  
"She's dying," House said flatly, "and a lot faster unless you do as I say. I want labs on the catheter every four- no every hour, I don't care about the sample size, just do it!"  
"What do you mean, what are we looking for?"  
"Tell me what you find and I'll let you know if you win the prize."  
  
He grabbed Rose and tugged on her arm, she protested but followed him. As they passed into the hospital corridor and the sound of people, machinery, the PA system with a steam of bland statements, House couldn't stop replaying what Wilson had said around and around in his head. What's gotten into your patient...  
"We've been treating it like an infection, but it's not," he slapped his hand on the reception desk and demanded a taxi be called. The duty nurse gave him a foul look but complied. He had not made any friends at City General.  
"How do you know that? It's 'flu or something, everyone's getting it at this time of year!"  
"Every human. But even the most adaptable virus would have trouble jumping to a completely alien biology like that, and if it did why would the symptoms be so sporadic? She only gets a fever during the day."  
"Is that strange?"  
"Humans are active during the day, that's when our bodies are primed to move around being busy. At night we sleep and our metabolism shifts to a digestive mode. I think Trolls have a much sharper distinction between night and day- they breathe harder then us, their hearts pump faster, and when they sleep their bodies go into overdrive preparing for when they next wake up."  
"But Trolls normally sleep-"  
"During the day. That's when her fever picks up. In the day time her body is trying to deal with something that it can't, so it tries to destroy it with a fever. And then at night, when a normal Troll would be awake, the activity drops. An infection would be putting a constant pressure on her defences."  
"Are you sure?"  
He paused, "No. Not even a little. But my gut feels pretty confident. Here's the taxi, come on. What's the address?"  
  
They pulled up at Kanaya's apartment and Rose let them in, she had the keys. House strode about the place, leaning on his cane, looking everywhere for... something.  
"What have you given her?" Rose asked, growing impatient.  
"Chelating compounds, used for heavy metal poisoning. My guess is that whatever the poison is, it isn't water-soluble so her cells can't expel it. Something," he paused and swivelled, tapping his chin, "something she ate? Something unusual?"  
"It wouldn't surprise me, they are still getting used to human foods, I suppose she might have eaten anything."  
"You know her. How does she think. You're looking for something to eat, you’re surrounded by alien stuff, what's the first thing you grab?"  
"Alright, alright, let me think. I'm good at this, I can get into people’s heads,"  
"Can you? What's in my head?" Even at this critical time, he couldn't resist needling the girl.  
"I know you must be very lonely,"  
"We're all lonely, it's the human condition."  
"You're constantly throwing people off whenever they try to tell you anything."  
"People lie, when you assume that, you can ignore most of what they say."  
"Is that why you like Kanaya?"  
  
House hesitated, and slowly turned to look at her coldly.  
  
"I'm right aren't I- you like her because she never tries to hide anything, she just says whatever she thinks. Is that why you're putting all this effort into helping her?"  
"I'd be a poor doctor if I didn't do all I could,"  
"You know what I mean. You took a flight over here because you were curious, but I've seen how you talk with Kanaya, she's the only person you never criticise, you just nod and take down whatever she says."  
"Let's get back to work,"  
"You should stay in touch after this, you'd get along."  
"There isn't going to be any after this, my patients come and go, and when I've done my job I move on. Now think!"  
  
Rose frowned and concentrated after he snapped at her. Kanaya was always so conscientious about everything. When she didn't know something, she carefully gathered together evidence and worked out what to do. Rose stared at her computer, behind which endless notes and sheets of paper were pinned up. That's what Kanaya had been doing all along, carefully researching how to live on Earth and helping all the other Trolls manage it. She had run herself ragged, too. Rose resolved to be of more use if... if things went well. She put herself in that position, exhausted, hot and bothered, and hungry. Kanaya didn't know any recipes, she barely knew how to make pasta. She would have looked for something to satisfy her quickly and efficiently.  
  
Rose found herself staring at that damn bowl of fruit on the kitchen table, and went up to it. There were apples in there, deep and lustrous red. House moved ahead of her and picked one up, sniffing it and running his fingers along the surface.  
"This is it,"  
"What?"  
"These apples are covered in furniture wax. That's how they make fruit look appealing in posters and pictures,"  
  
Rose glanced at all of the picture frames dotted about, each one with a ridiculously banal stock photo. But Kanaya didn't know what they were, she thought humans just liked that sort of thing. She thought they were pictures of real people doing real things. Just like she took a picture of a kitchen out of a catalogue and recreated it perfectly- right down to the waxy inedible fruit on display.  
"She's been eating these?"  
"And the wax is insoluble, her body can't digest it and can't expel it because she's never had to deal with it before. It's making her sick."  
"Can you do something about it?"  
  
House was already on the phone back to the hospital.  
  
Kanaya sat up in bed and sipped her tea, while Rose watched. Rose hadn't left her side, and even House was starting to make wry little comments about how they should be charging for a double. The girls were chatting away when House came in, Kanaya was almost back to her old self and smiled up at him.  
"What is your opinion, Doctor? Is your patient recovered yet?" Asked Kanaya with a small smile.  
"I couldn't tell you that, but I guess you're looking better then you did."  
"I am glad that you approve,"  
"Yes, well I don't just approve- I'm discharging you."  
  
They both looked at him in surprise, Kanaya showing a mixture of fear and hopefulness.  
  
"I am sufficiently recovered to leave your care. Doctor House human?"  
"Yes, at least there's nothing more I can do for you now."  
"In that case, I wish to offer you my deepest gratitude. I believe that I was close to expiration."  
"You should thank Rose, she saved your life. I'm just your doctor."  
Kanaya turned to Rose and nodded gravely, "Thank you for saving my life, Rose."  
"I didn't do anything!" She complained, giving Kanaya a friendly push on the shoulder.  
"But, I believe, Doctor House human was very specific in his statement, there was no measure of ambiguity."  
"Yes maybe," Rose gave House a smile, "but people lie, don't they."  
"Oh yes," agreed House, pressing his lips together in a flat approximation of a grin, "all the time."


End file.
